


#Instavengeance

by TemperamentalTerpsichorean



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Based on a Tumblr Post, College Age AU, Draco is a rockstar, F/M, Instagram, Metal Fan Hermione Granger, Minor Vandalism, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansy Has Issues, Party-Girl Pansy Parkinson, Past Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Tumblr Prompt, inappropriately comedic Ginny, modern day AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-13 23:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20590703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TemperamentalTerpsichorean/pseuds/TemperamentalTerpsichorean
Summary: In which Hermione is pissed at Ron, Ginny is ride-or-die, Draco is lead guitar for a punk metal band, and Instagram brings everything together.





	1. Vengeance and Possible Debauchery

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends, and welcome to the things my mind spits out late at night while browsing writing prompts on Tumblr. I found the prompt “You’re famous and I jokingly left a comment on your social media post asking if you’ll go egg my ex-partner’s house with me this weekend, and I never actually expected you to respond, let alone show up Friday night with dark sweatshirts, toilet paper rolls, and three egg cartons tucked under your arm” a while back and while I still don't have a working laptop or desktop (getting them back in working order has been a frustrating exercise in patience and cable management) this was too good a prompt to pass up. 
> 
> While this isn't necessarily Ron-bashing it is going to severely frown on Ron's behavior. He's a college-age boy in this, so it's not out of the question he did some stupid things to make his ex and his sister pissed with him. I made Hermione a fan of metal purely because I am too, and because I am a sucker for a fellow Aggretsuko-type girl. Ginny always struck me as a ride-or-die character, and Draco being a guitarist is (like with Strings) 100% based on Tom Felton and feltbeats.
> 
> I'll be updating Strings and Do No Harm hopefully soon, we think reinstalling Windows will fix the error we've been having with my laptop (an error which even Microsoft has been scratching their heads over) so I might have a working computer this month. Until then, enjoy this quick little story I tapped out on my phone in Google Docs. 🖤

"I told you he's a prat," Ginny said as she fished another nacho out of the paper boat on the sidelight. Hermione sighed and buried her face into a sage green throw pillow on the bed. 

"Thanks for that, Gin," she said in a muffled voice. "Doesn't change the fact your brother ditched me for fucking Lavender of all people. She has a head like a Ming vase." 

"What, pretty on the outside and completely empty on the inside?" Ginny laughed as Hermione threw the pillow she'd been hiding in at her.

"I know! But seriously, he knew we were talking and texting and he STILL went with her to Parvati and Padma's party. He's such a bastard sometimes." 

"Let's not rehash the fact my brother has the emotional range of a teaspoon," Ginny griped as she stood and flopped next to her best girlfriend on the bed, "and let's check out hot boys on Instagram. You're now completely unattached from that wanker, let's go ogle some prime man candy!" 

They both pulled out their smartphones and opened the app, pausing only to add twin selfies of their girl's night in to their Stories before scrolling through their feed and various hashtags. It was astounding to Hermione how many celebrities and models Ginny followed, and Hermione was just starting to loosen up and enjoy herself when a push notification had her screaming and bouncing excitedly. 

"Oh my giddy aunt, Death Eaters is live! Quick, get my laptop Gin!" 

The redhead sighed as she passed the Surface over to the curly brunette. "I still don't get how you can stand metal music, shit makes my head hurt." 

"It's compositionally and lyrically complex," she muttered absently as she flipped open the laptop and typed in her password to access Instagram in her browser. She ignored her notifications as she clicked her Following and scrolled to her favorite band in the whole world.

She'd never admit it, but despite having a 4.0 GPA in one of the more prestigious British universities as well as being the kind of dresser one would describe as "prim and proper", she'd always had a torrid love affair with metal in all its forms. She squarely blamed her father, who would play Alice Cooper and Judas Priest on the radio while driving her to her private school as a child and taught her all about the 70s metal scene he'd grown up alongside. She rarely caught live streams on social media for her favorite bands due to a fair few being located in America, but she followed the lives of their members all over social media and caught shows whenever she could forgo studying.

Death Eaters was made up of three men who'd grown up wealthy and chose to pursue their love of music instead of the family businesses. Theo Nott, drummer and son of a very notable banker pulled his best friends into the scene and the trio had never looked back. Finding the band's Instagram page, she clicked on their Stories and sighed girlishly as the screen filled with the handsome face of guitarist Draco Black, who was half-heartedly fending off the dark arm of who could only be bassist Blaise Zabini. 

"CUT IT OUT YOU TOSSER! Hey beautiful people, it's Drake here spending my Friday night babysitting _ this fuckhead, _" here he kicked at something which let out a yelp and growled at him in Italian, "until Theo gets back with aspirin for the invalid." 

Ginny giggled at Hermione as the blonde artfully tucked the blonde fringe of his undercut to the side behind his ear and smiled a perfect white grin at the camera. "Complex my arse, if they're all as smoking hot as him I'm a convert!" 

Hermione slugged her with another throw pillow. "YES he's gorgeous but he's a brill songwriter too!" She turned her face back to the screen as Draco chuckled at his bandmate's dramatics. 

"You ain't dying, you drama queen! Yeah idiot here downed three Graveyards at the after party for the last show, and now I'm stuck with nothing to do on a Friday night." He pouted at the camera, before busting out in laughter. "So comment or message with what your idea of a fun Friday out would be, and if I like it enough I might just do it when Primadonna here gets his arse medicated enough to go out." He smirked and waved at the camera before it cut out, the live feed clearly over. Hermione was still gazing at the blank feed when she felt Ginny tug her phone out of her hand and begin tapping out a message. 

"Gin! What are you doing?!"

"Messaging that famous hottie for you, of course," she replied with a laugh, fingers still tapping the keyboard on Hermione's phone. "You and I both know we should be out getting vengeance on my idiot brother!" 

She finished out her tapping and a cheery bloop chirped out as she clicked send. "I told him we'd love to go and egg Ron's flat today if we had a ride." 

Hermione shoved her face in a pillow in mortification. "As nice as it sounds I doubt he'd reply, much less do it." 

Ginny just stuck her tongue out and they turned their attention to mani-pedis and bashing ex-boyfriends. After a couple hours Hermione had actually forgotten the message entirely, and was laughing at Ginny's dramatic retelling of her accidentally kicking a football at the head of the local club's star forward only to get him to agree to a date with her Monday night.

"Harry is really fit, I'm glad he's stopped seeing me as Fred and George's kid sister and as a whole woman," she finished, laughing as Hermione gave her a scandalised look. Before she could open her mouth, her phone went off with the ding of an incoming message notification.

Both girls stopped laughing and looked at the Lumia in confusion. "Who the hell is that then," Ginny asked. 

Hermione shrugged. "Can't be my mum and dad, they're at a conference this weekend and you're the only other person who messages me."

Both girls clustered up to look at the screen together, tapping the push notification and unlocking the phone. A little red dot on Hermione's Instagram feed beamed up at them, telling her she had a message.

"No," Ginny breathed, gripping her best friend's arm. Hermione's thumb shook as she clicked on it.

**Draco Black: Look outside! ;) **

A car horn blared outside her house, startling the girls and making them jump. They scrambled to the window and saw a white blond head looking up at them, wrapped up in black jeans and a black hoodie and waving with egg cartons under his left arm.

"I hear you want revenge on a git and it sounds just my style," he called up enthusiastically with a grin on his face. Hermione sat paralysed in surprise until Ginny pulled her up out of the bed and towards the door. 

"Go go go GO!" She pushed her friend down the steps, ignoring Hermione's stumbling and curses as they made their way down the staircase to toe on their trainers and open the door. 

"He's HERE Gin! Draco Black is OUTSIDE MY HOUSE! How did he know where I live?!" 

Hermione wrenched open the door to a smiling rockstar on her parents' front porch. "You know, you should switch off your Location Services if you don't want celebrities showing up on your doorstep for a night of vengeance and possible debauchery," he laughed, grey eyes twinkling at her as she and Ginny stood gobsmacked in the door frame. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to be only a oneshot or twoshot but it looks like it might end up about five or six chapters. This really got away from me lol. Definitely a good distraction while I work on my two main stories though!


	2. Detour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the girls get free sweatshirts and Draco has to deal with a hot mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Write sleep-deprived and manic at 2 AM. No editing; we die like men.

Draco shuffled around the boot of his green Ford Focus, the egg cartons on the roof and both arms elbow-deep in the dimly-lit interior. With a crow of triumph, he tossed two dark hooded jumpers at Hermione and Ginny. 

"Hope those fit, I had to guess at your size."

Hermione sputtered and pulled the hair and fabric out of her face. Ginny, athlete that she was, had caught the jumper deftly in one hand and was pulling it over her head. Hermione glanced at the front of the jumper, noticing the slightly shiny black Death Eaters logo against the matte of the fabric. 

"You're seriously giving us merch to wear? Can we keep it after," Ginny said, voice muffled by the jumper over her face before her head finally poked through. Hermione shrugged and hauled the jumper over her own head, before her head popped out and her hair puffed back out like a cloud of curls. Draco shrugged. 

"If you like. We have boxes of them in the back of Blaise's van so we won't want for more." He tossed Ginny an industrial size box of forks and Hermione a family pack of Cottonelle toilet paper and grinned. 

"I'm hoping your ex has a ground floor flat, this will be tonnes more fun if he does," he said, waggling his eyebrows at Hermione. She went red at his flirtatious joviality. Ginny glanced down at the forks, unsure and confused. 

"Wanna explain the forks? The bog roll and eggs I get, but why plastic forks?" 

Draco laughed, and Hermione felt her heart speed up at his handsome face smiling at her and her friend, grey eyes lit from within with joy and mischief. "You haven't lived until you've forked a lawn! You stick them in the ground tines-up, it's harmless but annoying to clean up."

Hermione was about to open her mouth to clarify just how many pranks he had planned, when a whistle sounded and Draco pulled his phone. As he wandered a little way off to answer it, Hermione grabbed Ginny and they huddled up.

"Gin, this is insane. Not only did we message a rock star, but he _ actually answered _by showing up with prank supplies to help get revenge on Ron. I have a gorgeous rock star helping me get payback against my somewhat ex."

Ginny grinned and rested the forks under one arm, balanced on her hip. "I know, isn't it wicked? This already is the night of our lives!" 

Draco swore loudly, and the girls whipped back around to look at him. He was scratching the back of his close-shorn hair apologetically, his phone still in hand.

"Okay ladies, minor detour," he announced, taking their burdens and ushering them in the car. He swept to toss everything in the boot and shut it, and as Hermione cambered in the passenger seat she spoke up.

"What detour?" 

Draco folded himself into the driver's seat and shifted to drive. "Family problem. Theo is there but I got stuck having to pick her up and I'm not looking forward to it." 

* * *

"What kind of family problem takes place at a club in Kensel Rise," Ginny asked incredulously as she gazed out at the damp cobblestones and neon lights. Draco swung around the turnabout and peeked at her through the rearview mirror.

“It’s not so much a family issue as it is an issue with someone you’ve known since you were both in nappies needing to sort out her priorities,” he grumbled, leaning on the horn as someone in a BMW cut him off before the light. Ginny was thrown back by the sudden stop, landing back in her seat with a light “oof”.

Hermione turned to face Draco. “So what, we’re rescuing your childhood mate?”

“Eeyup,” Draco said absentmindedly, pulling in front of a place called The Shop and unlocking the doors. A bouncer who looked more brawn than brains stood watch at the door while a line stretched down the street to get in. Another brawny man with an armband marked “valet” walked up to the driver side and Draco smiled as he stepped out, Doc Martens clunking on the pavement.

“Greg, mate,” he said cheerily, tossing his keys toward the muscular man as the girls exited the car. “Only be a minute, you don’t have to park me someplace. Just keep an eye out and make sure she stays safe, yeah?”

The valet grinned crookedly at him. “No problem, Drake. Here for Pans?”

Draco’s face hardened, and Hermione found herself chilled by the blankness of his features. “Aren’t I always?”

They made their way to the door, and the bouncer gave all three a once-over before nodding. “Guess you’re here for Pans then.”

“Shove off, Crabbe.”

As he unlatched the rope separating the bar from the rabble, Crabbe snorted. “You know, maybe we all should just let Pansy make her own mistakes, yeah? One of these days one of us won’t be able to come rescue her.”

“She’s been my friend since we were toddlers. Like hell I’m leaving her to her own devices Vince.”

The bar was crowded and a singer-songwriter crooned with her guitar in the back while people drank, ate sparingly, and danced. The reclaimed wood of the bar gleamed in the warm lights, and a thin woman with ice-blonde hair and green eyes shook cocktails at the bar in a flannel shirt while others milled about serving. A racuous and loud booth to the side was drawing stares, and Hermione and Ginny heard Draco groan in secondhand embarrassment as they headed over to the source of the ruckus.

“Pansy, shut up,” a distinctly male voice said as they approached. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”

A thin, brunett man in a tattered flannel and ripped jeans with black hipster frames on his face was tugging the arm of a very inebriated black-haired girl in a sequin crop-top and tight leather leggings. She shoved at him, obviously angry but too pissed to be effective.

“Fuck off Theo, I can do what I want!”

“Pansy.”

The trio finally made it to the booth, Draco crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at the girl with ice in his eyes. The girl stopped shoving at Theo, who gave them an exasperated look, and smiled drunkenly at the blonde.

“Drakey! Fancy seeing you out and about!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Pans, when they hell are you going to get your fucking life sorted. I cant keep rescuing you!”

“I don’t need rescued, I can handle myself just fine,” Pansy grumbled, shoving her black asymmetric bob out of her eyes.

“Obviously not,” snorted Theo. “Drake, what the hell took you so long?”

“I was in the middle of something!” Draco hauled Pansy to her feet while Theo walked off to close the tab. Theo Nott gave Hermione and Ginny a once-over, and smirked.

“Either you went looking for a good time or you took up that one girl on her offer for petty vandalism,” he said, chuffed. Hermione went red and Draco dragged Pansy out of her chair.

“Theo don’t be a letch,” he grumbled. Pansy got unsteadily to her feet, frowning at her longtime friend before choking and retching into a nearby ice bucket.

“Well isn’t that lovely,” Draco said with a grimace, and Hermione and Ginny nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for not updating like I promised, I got my husband to fix my computer. Updates should be more forthcoming now, though this isn't going to be a regularly-updated fic.
> 
> The Shop is an actual bar in Kensal Rise/Kensal Green. The neighborhood is a hipster and celebrity paradise, but while the bar in this story has the name and general appearance of the actual bar, I took creative liberties with other aspects based on bars and clubs I’ve entered in Europe and in America.
> 
> Wow that's a lot of kudos and comments. Thank you so much!


End file.
